Illuminate

Heartbreak.

2011-08-25T22:49:00.003-05:00

In my short life, I have yet to find emotions quite as powerful as those that stem from a broken heart: the sadness, the anger, the overwhelming loneliness, the feelings of isolation...as far as I'm concerned, there is absolutely nothing in the realm of human experiences as painful as heartbreak.

Many of us have spent the majority of our lives with our hearts shattered, relying on ourselves to pick up each piece on our own. But I think we all know deep down that we can't do it. As imperfect, sinful beings, our original sin continues to slice and stab and tear apart any feeble attempt our mortal selves could possibly make in order to begin healing. And even worse, the scriptures clearly tell us it's that original sin at the root of our heartbreak in the first place.

Well, doesn't that just rock your socks off?

What do we do, then? Here we are, in this vicious, filthy cycle of heart shattering sin and darkness, unable to save ourselves from ourselves. Here we are, trying to mend the ripped seams of our lives according to what we want, in the way that we want things to occur. Here we are, pathetically attempting to fight a battle far too big for us.

Sometimes, I just don't understand humans. At every second of every day, especially during these times of isolation and pain, we have a Savior, waiting for us with open arms, freely offering forgiveness of the sins that have pulled us down into the pit, freely offering His blood for our redemption, freely offering His love, His grace, His ultimate mercy.

But we just walk on by, picking up our sinful hearts piece by piece, with Satan lingering not too far behind, whispering lies, and tag teaming with our original sin to destroy any progress we possibly could have achieved. I've found with many people (myself included), deep down, we do this because we don't feel worthy of Christ. We feel that we are too broken, too sinful, too...whatever, to be loved by Him. And frankly, that's the truth. We are completely unworthy of His grace and mercy, but when His blood was poured out on the cross, the veil was torn, the broken relationship with the father was restored, and the debt of the entire sinful world was paid.

In fact, God even uses our experiences in heartbreak in this already broken world to further His kingdom (And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. -Romans 8:28). God doesn't cast this pain upon us, but in His time, and within His lovingly crafted plans for us, He can use them to continue to shape us into the person He created us to be. He uses the valleys in our lives to demonstrate His constant presence and love in new and powerful ways (The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. -Psalm 34:18). He can lead us to use the painful lessons we have learned in testimonies to relate and reach out to other kindred spirits.

When I was in Nicaragua, my heart was broken over, and over, and over again, in an extreme variety of ways. From meeting another missionary who could have been the perfect guy for me if we didn't live thousands of miles apart, to feelings of failure when I felt that I wasn't doing my job good enough, to literal ache in my entire being when I saw all the pain and brokenness that afflicted Candelaria and it's residents. God used that aching in my heart and soul to ignite a flame of passion. Passion not only for the individuals I was so blessed to serve in Latin America, but for all of my brothers and sisters in Christ. He led me down a path that caused me to desire a life of servitude to His kingdom stronger than I'd ever had before. God used my brokenness, my flaws, my pain, to strengthen the servant's heart He had already blessed me with at the time He created me.

My prayer is that we can all learn to look at our brokenness in a different light - the light of Christ Jesus, so that we can submit to Him, taking up our daily cross - those burdens that afflict our lives each day - and follow the path He has made for us. I pray that a spirit of passion is ignited from our wounded hearts, creating a flame that can change and illuminate this world.

"Heal my heart and make it clean,
Open up my eyes to the things unseen.
Show me how to love like You
Have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours,
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from Earth into eternity." -Hosanna, by Hillsong.

Love Always,
-ellie*

P.S. Please pray for my grandpa. He has been in and out of the emergency room and hospital a lot lately due to renal failure. He is on dialysis and is struggling with having a preoccupation of mortality. Prayers for comfort and assurance of God's love and grace and constant reminding of the promise of eternal life would be greatly appreciated by my entire family during this difficult time.

I would also like to ask for prayers for all ten of the Concordias in the Concordia University System of the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. Prayer for wisdom and understanding on the part of the faculty and staff, for focus and devotion on the part of the students, and a strong and loving sense of Christ-centered community on all of the campuses this academic year and beyond.

Hearing the Truth In the Midst of Lies.

2011-08-01T03:40:00.001-05:00

The devil is a persistent dude. He's like those kids on the playground in elementary school who teased you about your glasses. Your mom always told you to ignore them, but they never backed down. They wanted a reaction out of you, and it didn't matter how long it took, they'd keep on calling you "four-eyes" until you started crying, or worse, hit them, and then you ended up being the one in trouble.

Recently, in my life, Satan has been acting like those kids. He just will not quit. For a few months, until mid-June, my walk had been straying from the path God has called me to be on. If people asked me if I was a Christian, I would say something like "Yes, but I'm kinda in a fight with God right now". When I finally stopped trying to get what I wanted in life by rebelling against my Holy Father, I was excited to listen to God speak life and truth into me again, but I wasn't prepared for the sore loser's attack from Satan.

Satan doesn't fight fair. He fights dirty. He takes low blows, and he hits you where it really hurts. In high school, I tried out for the Iowa All-State Choir every year, and I never made it. My senior year, when I was rejected for the fourth and final time, I wanted to quit everything to do with music: band, choir, show choir, my lead role in the musical - everything. I felt worthless, like I had no talent, and just plain hurt. I let Satan whisper so many lies into my ears about my abilities and place in the world that I completely looked past any of the things I had previously accomplished in music, or anything else. I was so focused on the lies that Satan had planted in my heart, that I started to lose sight of the truth: God had graciously blessed me with my voice as a way to spread His love to the world, and Satan would do anything he could to stop me from raising my voice in praise to God.

Satan's favorite trick with me though, is to use the people I care about the most against me. He knows that because I have a big heart, that if one person is upset with me (or seems upset with me), or doesn't care about me (or seems like they don't care about me), I'll feel like the world is ending, everyone hates me, and I'm worthless. This is where he's really been attacking me lately, and I've been letting it get the best of me - just what he wants. Thinking about this reminded me of the movie Luther (the 2003 version).

Near the beginning of the movie, Martin Luther is seen pacing around his cell at the monastery, arguing out loud with Satan, until Johann von Staupitz, his mentor, approaches him. Luther was so often terrorized by the devil, resulting in the spewing of anger and rebellion towards God, as he tried to fight Satan's lies and temptations on his own. Johann is quick to remind him that the devil "knows all the weak spots", and encourages Luther to look to Christ.

Now, I know that I'll be quick to call out the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod on putting their focus on Luther and Paul first, and Christ second, but regardless, Martin Luther has always been such an inspiring man to me. Here was this man, who literally came from nothing, who was on the path to being an attorney, who happens to get struck by lightning, and then finds himself in a monastery being relentlessly harassed by Lucifer. Life sucks, huh? But his bravery, his courage, and most importantly, his faith in Jesus, allowed him to change the world. When he finally grasped the fact that Satan "knows all the weak spots", the reality of the strength we have in Christ could shine through. When he stopped trying to do everything on his own, to figure everything out on his own, the Holy Spirit began to work in his heart full force to spread the Good News of the love and grace that we receive as a free gift from God.

When I am reminded of inspiring stories such as Luther's, I can only begin to imagine the amazing things God has planned for each and every one of us. But, at the same time, my heart aches to know that the lethal combination of the conniving devil and our sinful nature will fight to get (and stay) in the way of those plans.

We all know the devil fights dirty. He fights with deceit, and hate, and darkness. So I pray that we all can find strength in Christ Jesus and fight back with truth, and love, and light. We are covered by the blood of our Savior who provides us with God's Holy Armor (Ephesians 6:10-17...check it out if you're not familiar with this passage), and through Him we are victorious - free from Satan, sin, and death.

I leave you with a song by Casting Crowns, Voice of Truth. I hope that it speaks to you, reminding you that we must cling to Christ, and seek Him every day of our lives. He provides our strength, our everything, and the truth He speaks is the only sound that really matters. :)

Love Always,
-ellie*

P.S. I would like to ask you all for your prayers for my dear family at New Song Mission Nicaragua. About three and a half months ago, Anthony Cadena, a 17-year-old youth, drowned in the ocean. Anthony was an inspiring young man. He had a beautiful heart, and faith that could move mountains. He was very active in the church, a blessing to everyone he knew, and such a wonderful friend to me during my summer in Nicaragua in 2010. I especially would like to ask for prayers for Anthony's family, Lisa and Whitney (resident missionaries at New Song who were incredibly close to Anthony), and three of the youth: Andres, Gato (Marvin), and Abel...they were his best friends. God has been laying his healing hand over Candelaria, and all the people here in the States that have been blessed to have Anthony as a part of their lives, but there is still so much pain and so many unanswered questions. Please pray for continued healing and strength, and a sense of peace among us all, particularly the youth of New Song.

Anthony and I, August 2010.

.L-A-W.

2011-06-25T18:56:00.006-05:00

"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..." -Romans 3:23.

Ouch. Romans 3:23 has got to be one of the bluntest, harshest, and coldest examples of plain, unsweetened law I've got in my toolbox of Holy Scripture.

I was at FISH (Concordia University Saint Paul's Wednesday night contemporary worship service) when I first encountered this verse, and let me tell you, it was like getting thrown in an ice bath. I had come to FISH that night with a desperate need to hear some gospel, but when the first set of music was finished, the band stepped down, and the speaker flashed those words on her first slide, it seemed as if I was just going to get slapped in the face with the law.

That's the thing about the law. It's painful. It stings. And it's scary. So scary, that some Christians refuse to acknowledge it's existence. I've lost count of how many times Christians, and even entire congregations, have used Jesus as an excuse to continue sinning, and/or ignoring the law, focusing only on grace. The cold hard truth? Yes, the grace of God through the death of His blameless, perfect, holy son Jesus saves us from eternal damnation, but I encourage you to read chapter 6 of Romans and hear God speak through Paul on this matter:

Dead to Sin, Alive to God

¹What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? ²By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? ³Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? ⁴We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. ⁵For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. ⁶We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. ⁷For one who has died has been set free from sin. ⁸Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. ⁹We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. ¹⁰For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. ¹¹So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. ¹²Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. ¹³Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.¹⁴For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.

Slaves to Righteousness

¹⁵What then? Are we to sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! ¹⁶Do you not know that if you present yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness? ¹⁷But thanks be to God, that you who were once slaves of sin have become obedient from the heart to the standard of teaching to which you were committed, ¹⁸and, having been set free from sin, have become slaves of righteousness. ¹⁹I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification. ²⁰For when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. ²¹But what fruit were you getting at that time from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the end of those things is death. ²²But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life. ²³For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

From this passage, we learn that although by grace, through faith:

"This is the true freedom from sin and from the law. ... it is a freedom only to do good with pleasure and to live well without the compulsion of the law. Therefore this freedom is a spiritual freedom, which does not overthrow the law but presents what the law demands, namely, pleasure [in the law] and love [for it] whereby the law is quieted and no longer drives men or makes demands of them. ... Our freedom is, therefore, no carefree fleshly freedom which is not obligated to do anything, but a freedom that does many works of all kinds, and is free of the demands and obligations of the law." (Luther's Works, 35:375-76)

Christ's death and resurrection, and our faith in Him as our savior certainly makes us free, but that freedom doesn't mean our original sin ("Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me." -Psalm 51:5) simply vanishes into thin air. Being or becoming a Christian doesn't mean all of our problems go away. Christ has ultimately won the battle against death and the devil, but we will still have daily struggles between our sinful nature and our faith.

This is why the law is so important! The law shows us our sinful nature, even when we don't want to see it, and shows us how desperately we need Jesus. When we stray from the path of righteousness and fall into the temptation of sin, the law serves as a flashing sign to remind us that what we're doing is not okay, to remind us that Christ didn't die so we could continue to live a sinful life, He died so that we can be forgiven, spread His love to the world, and spend eternity with Him in paradise!

When we avoid the law, we begin to cut out pieces of our relationship with the Lord. Without the law, what need is there for gospel? If we aren't going to be punished for our sins, why would we need Jesus? As painful as it may be to hear about our sins and the consequences for them, when we look at the law as an arrow pointing to Christ, we can cling to Him and our faith tighter with the realization that it is only through Him that we can be saved from the "wages of sin"...death.

My prayer is that we all can begin to see the law as more than just a list of guidelines and punishments (don't make me write another entry on ontology and teleology...no matter how happy Dr. Trapp would be :) ), and definitely not just something we fear, but as a reminder that we can never be perfect, we can never fully escape our original sin (no matter how hard we try), and that's why we need Jesus so desperately. I pray that when the law strikes fear in you, when you feel alone, unloved, and too sinful for redemption, that you use the law to find the grace of God, and run into His loving, forgiving arms.

Love Always,
-ellie*

He Loves Us.

2010-10-27T13:48:00.003-05:00

Listen to this:

We are His portion, and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes...
...if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.

And honestly, that's all I've got for you. I know the words of this are a reminder that I need right now, and maybe some of you need it, too. He loves us, and His grace and love are so powerful that nothing can rip us away from Him. Not our sin, not our feelings of being unloved, lonely, and worthless, not the people who constantly tell us that we are inadequate...nothing. We should never forget that our God has poured out so much grace, love, and mercy for us, that we're literally drowning in it. That's passion. That's love. That's what our Savior has done for us, not because we deserve it, not because of anything we've done...just pure grace and love.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. -Romans 8:38-39.

Love Always,
-ellie*

Who Are We?

2010-10-05T14:15:00.007-05:00

Some of you may remember a post that I wrote while I was still in Nicaragua, "Who Am I?". Amongst the stories of sweat and pligramages to Chichigalpa, were thoughts about where I was going, and what I was going to be doing along the way.

I have been put in the position to think about the kinds of questions I was asking myself at that time again.

Yesterday, in my Formational Models for Christian Ministry class (a class where we talk about being affective, and healthy ministers of word and service), one of our professors, Kevin Hall, instructed us to go to a website, called Wordle. At this website, we typed words that described ourselves and our lives into a box, pressed a button, and then got to arrange and change the color of the words we typed in. The end result is a cluster of the words that you typed in that looks pretty dang epic.

Here was the first Wordle I designed:

I forgot to type "epic" in there. Sad day.

Kevin made an interesting point after we had finished making our Wordles. He asked us about the types of words we had typed into our "Wordle" box. He pointed out that when asked to describe ourselves, many of us used words that described what we do. Take another look at my box. ^^^ Amongst words like "Christian" and "energetic", I've got musician, singer, actress, dancer, camp counselor, missionary, writer...

What about when we describe someone else? We'll go with Will Ferrell. What do you come up with? What are the first five words that come to mind? Here are mine:

Actor.
Comedian.
Performer.
Hilarious.
Celebrity.

Take a second look at that list. At least three, and if you stretch it, all five, of those words describe what Will Ferrell does. He acts, a type of performance, and he does it in a comedic way in which he knows other people will see.

Would you agree with me when I say that it's fair to assume that if someone was asked to describe you, words that fit with what you personally do will most likely come first? When I moved back to LeMars and people asked others who the new girl was, many times the responses would be something like "She's in choir.", or "She's a cheerleader.".

When asked to describe ourselves, many of us used words that described what we do.

Let's really think about that for a minute. What do you do? And if decisions about who you are as a person are based off of that...what kind of person are you? What does your "Wordle" look like?

Now, I'm not saying that my uber-positive "Wordle" is me 100% of the time. Everything in that jumble of words is positive (except maybe "loud"...and "ginger", if you ask my friends). If I was always everything in that box (and frankly, I'd definitely need to be much more), I might not even need a savior, but I'm definitely not everything in that box on a daily basis. If I was, I would be a much better person. The truth is...I'm a terrible person, who can't save myself from my own sinful nature on my own. Just like the rest of the world, I am in desperate need of Jesus.

So, what's really in our hearts then? How does what we do show the world who we are? What does that reflect on us? While pondering that, I opened up the "Wordle" website again, and began to think about what our sinful actions say about us. Here's what I came up with:

I'd say that's a pretty accurate picture of what's inside of us. I know if you put my heart, your heart, or anyone else's heart, under a microscope, past the fake facades that we plaster on every day, this is what you'd find. We may be able to hide from the world to some degree, but this is what God sees when He looks at our sinful hearts.

But...

Praise the Living God for sending His Son, Jesus, to die for us! Because of Christ's death, the sinful actions that we daily execute have been wiped clean. His blood has cleansed us from all eternity. He has ripped the dirt and darkness out of our souls and saved us from the consequences of our sins. Because of Him, the picture changes from what we saw above, to something a little like this:

Pretty drastic transformation, huh? Through the power of Christ who dwells in us, we can do amazing things! Philippians 4:13 reminds us: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.". What powerful words this verse contains! This verse shows that with Christ, not only can we overcome the sometimes overpowering challenges of our lives, we can also make changes in this world. Massive and epically fantastic changes! We can make a difference by being who we are, because of what Christ is doing through us.

Now I have a challenge for you. Write down five things that you did today. Just five random things. A diverse mix of good, bad, or as unimportant as how many gray hairs you found today (I found three last week...ah! Totally not kidding, either.). Read your list. Read it again. Aaaand...read it one more time.

Look at each item on your list individually. Does it fit into a category such as daily routine, chores, or free time activity? Was it basically a "good" thing, or a "bad" thing? But most importantly, I want you to stretch beyond what each item on your list meant/did for you today. How did it effect everyone else? Sure, when you mowed the lawn, your yard looked better, and it made you feel a slight sense of accomplishment, but maybe it relieved some stress off of another memeber of your household. Or, maybe that fight you picked with your sister this morning because you were in a bad mood ruined the rest of her day.

What does your list, and how your list affects the world around you, say about you? What do your actions reveal about who you are? But even more important, how does that reflect you as a Christian, and what kind message does your attitude send to non-believers?

Missouri Synod Lutherans (which is my denominational background), as well as many other protestants, believe that salvation comes from the amazing grace, and grace alone, of God through faith in the life, death, and ressurection of His only son, Jesus Christ. Ephesians 2:8 makes this very clear: "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God." Our actions, good or bad, don't save us, and they definitely don't save others (if they did, what need would there be for a savior?), but that doesn't mean that we shouldn't give to charity, or voluntarily help others. James 2:26 says "As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead." Once again, no, I am not trying to tell you that you are "dead" or lost because you don't do good works, but if our actions don't reflect that we are Christians who love Christ and our fellow brothers and sisters in Him, what's the point? God's going to love us no matter what we do, no matter how many times we mess up, no matter how many times we stray from the path, but that doesn't mean we just say "Okay, well, I'm gonna screw up anyways, so why not live in sin, and why sacrifice being ridiculed for the gospel?". What the world claims to be a curse, is actually our blessing. God has sent us into the world with the words of the Great Commission in Matthew 28:19, "Therefore go, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." And what's one of the easiest ways to witness Christ to our world? Through our actions and words. Even if you are put into a situation where you can never mention His name, you can still be Jesus to someone through what you say and do. God is THAT powerful, and that is so amazing!

Dr. Trapp (yes, I am referrencing my "all-knowing" Old Testament prof again) would call this 'ontology'. Meaning, we're being Jesus to our brothers and sisters in Christ because we are in a relationship with a God who loves us (not because we get to go to heaven if we do. Dr. Trapp would call that "teleology", or doing something because you'll get something out of it.). God loves us so much...even though without His son's blood we are worthless, filthy sinners. Because of that, we should show that same kind of unconditional, undeserved love to others.

Take another look at that list I asked you to make. If your actions are who you are, then who are you? What are you doing? Who have you been Jesus to today?

Love Always,
-ellie*

One Week Later...

2010-09-03T02:07:00.003-05:00

Well, I've been back at school for almost a week now, and I feel like my head is in the middle of a hurricane.

Concordia is amazing of course. I love my classes, it's great to see all my old friends, I've met some awesome new people, and the year is starting off really well. The problem? I over prepared myself for my return.

It's always hard to return to the U.S. after going over seas. The manana mentality of Latin America is a night and day difference from the "go-go-go" mentality of the United States. I knew that once my plane landed, my days of laying on picnic tables, salsa dancing, and random jam sessions that took up the large amount of free time I had in Nicaragua, would be replaced by classes, homework, club meetings, and trying to just...catch up. However, I haven't even given myself the chance to transition, and I know that by doing that, I'm making a huge mistake.

Throughout this summer, God has made some incredible changes in me. He has been at work in my heart, and in many ways, I've returned to CSP as a completely different girl than I was in May. He once again showed me the strength I have in my Camp Okoboji family, He brought me through a battle with malaria, He kept me safe during robberies, and He watched over me when I got appendicitis two days before I was supposed to leave the country (if having surgery in a not so clean Nicaraguan hospital and coming out perfectly okay, especially with my weak immune system, doesn't show me how powerful my God is, something is wrong).

Me with my appendix in the hospital in Chinadega!

He has been teaching me that He is so much bigger than any trial I may face. He has shown me that His love covers all of my insecurities, all of my problems, all of my stress...everything. So when I come back to Concordia and start beating myself up and saying I'm not "good enough" because I can't breathe deep enough (due to my surgery) to sing 8-bar phrases in Christus, or when I get frustrated when something little doesn't go exactly right, I'm just tossing aside everything I've learned this summer like it doesn't matter. But it does. It matters so much! I don't want to be back in a place of blaming God when I'm in the midst of a storm. I want to continue to grow in my faith, like I have been over the past three months.

So, I guess I'm just asking for your prayers and support, and that those of you who see me daily can bear with me during this struggle.

And I'm really tired (don't ask why I'm still up), so if this blog makes no sense, or seems...random/jumpy/broken up/(insert whatever adjective here), I apologize. :)

Also, as always, please keep New Song Mission Nicaragua in your prayers.

Love Always,
-ellie*

Learning to Be Loved.

2010-08-17T03:45:00.006-05:00

This one time at Camp Okoboji...

So, I was at Camp Okoboji and we...

Camp Okoboji has this crazy tradition where...

You hear it from me all the time, and I know it. I fully admit that I never shut up about Camp. I am fully confident that I haven't gone a single day in the past 11 (or is it 12...I have no idea, I lost count...) years without mentioning the name "Camp Okoboji" at least once.

Me and some of my AMAZING friends at the IDW Youth Week 2009 dance at Camp Okoboji.

Why?

God often works through important individuals in our lives to help us get back on track. This is why having friendships with strong foundations in faith are so important. Just like your best friend can point you towards that lost term paper buried beneath the left over Ramen and folders on your desk, through Christ, your best friend can be someone to point you in the right direction in your walk with God when you feel like you've "lost" Him, even though He's been there all along.

In my life, many, many times, Camp Okoboji has been that best friend. When I've been burdened by guilt, or pain, or whatever else may be troubling my heart, and I've lost sight of the cross, my amazing friends that God has blessed me with at Camp Okoboji have been right there to point me in the right direction and remind me that God has never left my side. Their love is a reflection of the love that Christ has for us. It may be a blurry reflection (because no one can ever love us as much as Jesus), but to me, it is incredibly precious. These people have loved me and accepted me (no questions asked) for who I am for years. They've been there through tears and laughter. They have reminded me to seek God when I'm feeling down and unloved.

IDW Junior High Week Counselors 2010 with P.R.

I've never really had friendships that quite compare with that of my Camp Okoboji friends. It's taken me years, and I literally mean YEARS to finally be okay with how much love this group of people so freely gives me.

It may be difficult for me to be okay with receiving freely given love, but when it comes to giving it, that's a whole different story. I love giving hugs. I love making people smile. I love brightening peoples' days. It's simply a part of who I am. Christ's intense love for us has inspired me to try to be the same way towards others, and while it's been a challenge to stretch my heart and see everyone with Christ-like eyes, the past year or so (especially these last two months at Camp Okoboji and in Nicaragua), has made me realize that my struggle with accepting that kind of love from others is a much bigger deal than I originally thought.

I tend to feel guilty whenever anyone says something or does something nice for me. I don't know why, I just do. After a lot of prayer and reflection, I'm beginning to see how my struggle with accepting love from others paints a clear picture of my relationship with Christ.

I love Jesus. I really do. He is my rock, my light, my everything, but sometimes, my relationship with Him can feel like it's the same as it is with everyone else. And that's no one else's fault but my own. I'm focusing so much on how I don't deserve His love, that I can't let Him completely into my heart. Christ's gift of love is free! It's not by anything that we've done, and it's definitely not because we deserve it!

After many late-night talks at Camp Okoboji in July, I had a better understanding of where I stood in my faith walk, which was great, but I was completely unprepared for how God was going to put me in situations here in Nicaragua where I was going to have to apply that knowledge and start to grow.

The youth in Candelaria began to break my heart and have love pour out of me from the first time I met them, and throughout my time here this trip, that has only gotten stronger. However, I used to think that I was just another missionary coming through, someone they could hang out with for a few weeks that they'd all but completely forget about several months down the road. But, seeing friendships continue to grow that I formed here in January, and experiencing those friendships getting deeper, it becomes clearer and clearer to me that these relationships aren't just one-sided.

Me with some of the kids during Sunday School in January.

It's so easy to leave a mission base at the end of a trip and forget that after you leave, life goes on. You think of the people you worked with fondly, you smile at the photographs, but as more time passes and your life continues to get busier and busier, those relationships begin to fade. But the truth is, while you're back home, all of those people that you witnessed to...with all of their heartache, with all of their brokenness...they're still there. And believe it or not, they do remember you.

This time, I can't forget about the reality I'll be leaving behind when I land in the United States. I couldn't even if I wanted to. The people in Nicaragua are no longer just people I'm witnessing to that I see once or twice a year. They're my friends. True friends. They're climbing right up there close to Camp Okoboji friends...it's crazy! These people have opened up their hearts to me, and showed me pure, Christ-like love, expecting absolutely nothing in return. And if I'm uncomfortable with it, or if I feel guilty and undeserving of their kindness...too bad! They couldn't care less. I love these people, and I am so blessed to be loved by them in return. Praise Jesus for changing the life of a daughter who came here to change the lives of others.

Anthony, me, and Abel. :)

I suppose that's it for this random, spur of the moment, late-night, "I've-got-a-ton-of-thoughts-so-let's-blog" blog. Thanks for daring to dive into my crazy mind for a few minutes.

Please keep the mission in your prayers. Hugs from Nicaragua!

Love Always,
-ellie*

Ya-Sure-Ya-Betcha!

2010-08-16T10:23:00.003-05:00

Monday and Tuesday...days off at New Song. I'm actually off-property this week, currently relaxing at Tommy and Linda's house. It's definately going to be a girls' weekend. Pasta and cheesecake last night, massages today, and whatever else we can think of for tomorrow.

I cannot believe that my last week here starts today...but we're not going to get into that right now. No tears just yet. :)

This week, yet again, has been really great. I've spent even more time than usual with the youth that are my age, and through that, and watching them do their daily (and not so daily) activities, I've have had some awesome opportunities to witness their faith grow and see them plant seeds elsewhere in the Kingdom.

My cold has been bugging me a little this week, but it's finally almost gone. Anthony even has an "Ellie Song" in honor of it. It goes something like "*sniff* *sniff* *sniff* *sniff*". :) Getting to know him more this trip has been great, since I didn't really get to talk to him much when I was here in January. He's got a huge heart and a really positive attitude; Something that's so great to see, because his good example positively impacts the other youth.

Anthony and I hanging out in the youth house.

The past couple of nights have been really fun. Just hanging out at Kenia's house with everyone, eating chocobananas and talking about life...not to mention, Kenia made me this awesome dish of gallo pinto with cheese and lemon. Amazing...as is most of the food here.

Probably my favorite thing that has happened so far during our usual late night "fiestas" is teaching Abel, Ariel, and Gato (Marvin) how to speak English like a Minnesotan. Now there's a whole bunch of Nicaraguans walking around Candelaria saying "I'm from Minnesoooota, where it's cold outside. Ya-sure-ya-betcha, don'tcha know?" Epic.

Gato and I. :)

Friday night really stood out to me this week. Last week, the youth were supposed to have an event at the park in Chichigalpa with the police (to develop stronger relationships with them, I think), where they were going to do a few of their dances and dramas. It got cancelled last week due to rain and it was called off this week as well since rain was again, really likely, but the youth decided to go to the park and perform some dances, anyway.

A lot of people in the park stopped and watched the kids' performance, including some members of a local gang. One of the pastors at New Song has been doing ministry with this gang (the largest in the area), and the Lord is really beginning to change their hearts. It was an incredibly powerful experience. It ended up raining and the performance was cut short, but God was visibly present in the dances that night.

The kids doing one of their dances (this actually isn't from the same night...but photo credit to the amazing Lisa Smith...for this and many other pictures I use on this blog!).

The coolest part? They all showed up at church last night. The church embraced them, prayed for them, and at the end of the service, five of the gang members, including the leaders, became Christians. Wow. That's all I can say about it. WOW. No matter how much I write here, no words can even begin to describe how amazing that is.

Pastor Walter talking to the gang after church.

After church, Lisa, Whitney, Ashley, Mandi, and I (plus a bunch of the kids catching a ride to the park in Chichigalpa, and a few of the translators getting a ride home), all piled in the back of Tommy and Linda's truck to head to Leon for our days off. It was intense. :)

This is how it's done in Nicaragua!

Once we got into Leon, we dropped our stuff off at Tommy and Linda's, and then headed over to Bar Baro for dinner to close out the night. It was a great time, and I'm looking forward to the rest of my weekend off in Leon, and getting back to the mission for my last week in Candelaria.

The girls with Linda at dinner.

That's all for now, blessings to you! Please keep us in your prayers.

Love Always,

-ellie*

We're Lost Without You.

2010-08-10T14:34:00.006-05:00

Well, it's been an interesting week to say the least. :) From the bad (we're definitely not going to go there), to the amazing, a lot of new things were experienced this week.

Wednesday was relatively slow, so I don't have much to share about that.

Church on Thursday was canceled because of a larger than normal storm. Instead, the few of us that were there sat in a circle for music, prayer, and sharing testimonies. Afterwards, I talked with Julio, who plays guitar and sings in the praise band with me, for a few hours. It was great to hear his story about how God carried him through serious health issues when he was living in Costa Rica, and how He has now brought him to Nicaragua with dreams of doing music ministry around the world.

Friday night was the youth activity night. They played a really hilarious (and slightly weird) game that I'm still not quite sure I understand, and of course, there was the usual salsa dancing. Afterwards, Ashley and Mandi (they arrived about a week ago), Lisa, and I took two of the guys, Ariel and Cristhian out for pizza for their birthdays. It was a great time. I even got to try something a little different...ketchup on pizza. It's actually not too bad! When in Nicaragua...:)

From left to right: Cristhian, Lisa, Mandi, Ashley, and I (Ariel refused to have any pictures taken of him...el esta facento).

On Saturday, almost everyone went to Santa Matilde (a nearby village) for outreach. The youth did a few of their dances and a drama over there. Later that night, Lisa and I attempted to bake chocolate cake, but we couldn't find any matches to light the stove, so we just ate the raw batter with Ashley and Mandi. 'Twas epic.

This was my dinner...:)

Sunday was a great day of just hanging out and loving on kids. There were two little boys who I'd never seen before that were hanging around the mission. Adorable. I had two extra appendages for most of the afternoon.

Ellos son muy preciosos. <3

Church was really amazing that night. One of the songs we sang was "Air I Breathe"...and I'm not quite sure what happened towards the end of the song, but whatever it was, it was amazing. You could honestly just feel God's presence in the church, and several people were in tears. It was an incredibly powerful moment.

I've got two short clips of the praise band from Sunday to share with you, but I'm having trouble getting them uploaded. I'll post them as soon as the computer (and internet connection) start cooperating with me.

"Air I Breathe" was the last song before the sermon, so when we finished, I made my way to the back of the church, but I didn't get very far before I saw one of my good friends, Abel, in tears. Abel has been struggling with "finding himself" lately. We've talked about it a few times since I've been here, but between me being too sick and too tired to focus on understanding and effectively communicating in Spanish on several occasions, and him talking crazy fast, not a lot of progress was made. This time, I simply gave him a hug, and listened. While I was still hugging him, he said "I need to pray more. I need to spend more time talking to God. I need to be better. I don't know who I am, but I don't think I'm anything good." I listened to him talk for a few minutes longer, picking up as much of the jumbled-up-due-to-crying-Spanish as I could. And then, a Dr. Trapp lecture popped into my head.

I looked Abel in the eyes and said "Voy a decir este en ingles, y espero tu puedes entender, por que no se como decir estas palabras en espanol." (I'm going to say this in English and I hope you understand, because I don't know how to say these words in Spanish) My Spanish is decent (with atrocious grammar, of course), but when it comes to quoting Dr. Trapp, I'm not sure if I can trust my vocabulary in a foreign language. I quickly said a prayer that Abel's minimal ability to speak and understand English would at least get my point across.

I took a deep breath, and proceeded to slowly speak some of the wisdom I gained from Dr. Trapp's Old Testament class (we went off-topic a lot...but he somehow always managed to bring everything back to whatever book and chapter we happened to be discussing). I repeated one of Dr. Trapp's harsh, but incredibly true statements to him: "Who you are doesn't really matter anymore, and it certainly doesn't matter to me. What Christ has done for you is what affects my relationship with you. That's what the Christian faith is all about." I reminded him that Christ's death on the cross instantly washed away all of the sin that "makes him a bad person", and that it is only by Christ's blood that he is forgiven...not by how much he prays, or by how many good deeds he does. Not that we shouldn't do good, but he needed to be reminded that praying more than the next guy, or spending more time volunteering somewhere isn't going to get him any closer to heaven. The world having a good opinion of him is not going to save him. We are saved by grace, and grace alone, through faith in Jesus Christ. Who he is according to the world is of no importance. What's truly important is the new person he has become through His Savior, Jesus. "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." -2 Corinthians 5:17. How blessed we are to be washed and made new through our perfect King when we've done absolutely nothing to earn it!

After sharing that with him, I scrunched up my face and asked if he had understood the words I had just spoken. He hugged me again, and said he understood everything I said (praise Jesus for that!).

Me hanging out with Abel on Sunday afternoon.

I think God was sending me on a mission that night, because as soon as I finished talking with Abel, I saw Julio sitting on the wall at the very back of the church, crying. I approached him cautiously. I don't know Julio very well, but I do know that he's dealing with a lot right now, so I wanted to be extra careful with my words. I put an arm around his shoulders and asked him what was going on. He looked the other way so I wouldn't see him crying, and stayed silent. At that point, I really didn't want to bother...I was physically, mentally, and emotionally spent from the day, and if he wasn't going to talk, I didn't want to sit on a wall getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, but God held me there. Finally, he told me that his grandfather is in the hospital, extremely ill, and that he's going to die soon. I tried my best to assure him that although there is a lot of pain in his family right now, his grandfather would soon be rejoicing with God in heaven, but he interrupted me, slightly angry, with the classic question "If God loves us so much, why does he do this to us?"

As much as I wanted to leave before he opened up to me, I then wanted to leave so much more. I know the answer (or the best answer to give) to this question. I know what I'm supposed to say in response, but how could I when I ask this same question all the time. Recently, in fact. Satan was screaming "HYPOCRITE" at me. And the truth is, yeah, I'm a hypocrite. We all are, so if we don't witness to someone because we aren't "good enough" to because of our sins and mistakes, then nobody is going to be witnessing at all.

While it was difficult to hear myself share words that I myself don't even take to heart, I told him that God doesn't "do this to us". Pain and suffering are a result of the sinful world we live in, so instead of blaming God for what we've done to ourselves, we need to turn to Him, to His merciful, compassionate, and loving heart. I couldn't tell him why his grandfather was ill and near death...the only thing I could say was that God's timing is perfect, and everything is part of His plan for HIS kingdom.

I don't expect my words to give him much comfort, and I don't expect them to sink in right away, because I know personally what it's like to hear those words spoken during difficult times, but everyone needs to be reminded that it's God's will that will ultimately be done. When we accept that, and surrender ourselves to Him, amazing things can happen. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." -Romans 8:28.

I'm sure this will be an ongoing struggle for Julio, so please keep him and his family in your prayers.

Monday was a fantastic day as well. Lisa, Ashley, and Mandi went with the short term team (Living Water) to Maltagalpa to see the rain forest and a really epic coffee plantation. I opted out of going. I really wanted to go, because seeing a rain forest is a huge dream of mine, but with all the bad luck I've had surrounding this trip (illnesses, accidents, etc.), I didn't want to risk falling into a ravine or getting eaten by something. :) Instead, I chillaxed with my ninos all day.

It was pouring in the afternoon, so Anthony, Rosita, and I ran around in the muddy field and played some messed-up version of soccer. Then we ran to the church and hugged all the dry people. Jose and Jovanny were about as soaked as we were after we tackled them. Then, we all just hung out in the church for an hour or so talking about hair gel (I told all the boys to lay off on the hair care products because it made their hair crusty...it's become an ongoing joke), and giving Ariel a bad time about his failure to correctly pronounce the word "crusty". Crooooosty. Oh, and I got ice cream from Rosita. :)

After all of that fun, the water finally came back on in the house, so I got to take a much needed shower. I hadn't full-on showered for like...eight days. Just quick rinse-offs. Disgusting, I know. I was starting to develop a crust. It was super cute. When I told the kids I was going to leave for a bit to clean up, Rosita spun around in circles, threw her hands in the air and yelled "iGracias a Dios, gloria a Dios!" (Thank-you God, glory to God!) I didn't think I smelled that bad...

My shower didn't last very long, however, because a tarantula (that I've named Marcus), decided to join me. I thought he was dead, so I threw a bar of soap at him to make sure...and he started chirping. I'm going to have to call on Fransico the Kitchen Lizard, Larry the Kitchen Frog, and Shermanito the Bedroom Frog to destroy Marcus the Shower Tarantula, or else I'm not going to shower for the rest of the time I'm here.

After my lovely encounter with Marcus, I went back to the church to watch dance practice and hang out some more, only to find out that Rosita had cooked me an epically fantastic dinner of chicken, gallo pinto (the national dish of Nicaragua...rice and beans cooked separately and then fried together), tomatoes, and platanos (fried bananas with this amazing sugary glaze on them).

Everyone that isn't a missionary has to be off the property by 9:00 p.m., so when that time came, I went to Kenia's house to hang out with her, Cristhian, Ariel, Abel, Jovanny, Rosita, and Domingo for a few hours. We ate chocolate covered frozen bananas and the boys kept singing the Titanic theme song. 'Twas a good time.

Well, I'm about to head out to go to school with Cristhian (he's a senior in high school), which I'm really excited about. I've only seen the outside of the schools here, and I'm really interested in getting a better look at and understanding of the educational system in Nicaragua. I'll be sure to keep you all posted on how that goes.

Please continue to keep Nicaragua in your prayers! Thanks for reading!

Love Always,
-ellie*

Who Am I?

2010-08-03T17:58:00.010-05:00

Another week of ministry begins tomorrow morning at New Song after our two days off come to a close this evening. I'm excited for the opportunities this coming week is going to bring, and I'm excited to share what's happened over the last few days.

Lately, I've been discovering so much about myself, and about God's plans for me. I'm learning about who I am as an individual, as a teenager, as a student, as a missionary, and most importantly as a Christian and child of God. I've written a little about that in this entry (amongst the stories of sweat, lack of water, and ice cream).

Sunday was one of the most...insane (in a good...and busy way) days I've had in awhile. I had an amazing experience in the morning, which is a little too complicated to explain here, but just know that my life has been changed (for the better) because of it.

Sunday afternoon, the short term team from Ohio, Lisa, and I walked to Chichigalpa to get ice cream. Yasmin and a couple of the other kids tagged along, too. I had cookies 'n cream mixed with Neopolitan (it's amazing), and I got a little cone for Yasmin, too. 10 Cordobas...or 50 cents, so why not? :) The ice cream was great, but it was so, so, so hot. There was so much sweat dripping off of my hair and face and glistening on my arms and legs that I literally looked like I'd just stepped out of the shower. It was disgusting.

After we finished our ice cream, Lisa, Josh, and I took a taxi back to Candelaria so we'd have time to clean up and do sound checks before church. Cleaning up for me consisted of throwing a purple sundress over the tank top and shorts I'd worn to bed the night before and hadn't had a chance to change out of yet, and re-scrunching my already wet with sweat hair. Cute, I know.

Church was great. I sang in the praise band again, and Josh and I played guitar and sang Reign In Us before the sermon. Tommy's sermon was incredible. It included discussion about repentance, forgiveness, transformation, love, and grace. A pretty epic combination.

After church, I spent a lot of time with the Ohio team since they were leaving the next morning. They figured out that saying "nickelmuffin" will cause me to burst out into uncontrollable laughter, so that was...interesting. The background picture on my phone is currently a piece of paper with "nickelmuffin" written on it. There was also a pretty intense game of Ninja Tag, including the ripping of pants (not mine). Awkward. Later on, a few of us went outside to check out the stars since the sky was clear. Although, not as clear as in January, and there are a lot more lights on the New Song property than at the Bloquera, so the stargazing wasn't as good.

The next morning was extremely difficult for me. I have a new appreciation for the kids here. New missionaries come and go all the time. Monday was the first time I've been on that end of the mission field. I've always been the one to leave, not the one staying behind. It was really hard, I have no idea how the kids can handle stuff like that so often.

Later on in the day, though, things got much better. I hung out with Abel, Gato, Ariel, Cristhian, Jovanny, Andres, and Anthony. They definately cheered me up. I ended up walking to the park in Chichigalpa with them that night, too. A seven-year-old boy kept blowing kisses at me. Fun stuff. I was really glad I got to spend some time with them outside of Candelaria. Not only did it cheer me up, but I got an opportunity to better understand who they are as my peers (Abel and Gato are 20, Cristhian is 18, Jovanny is 17, and Ariel, Andres, and Anthony are 15, so they're all around my age), and not just people I'm witnessing to. It can be difficult to find the right balance between being a missionary and being a friend, and both are so important when it comes to being a missionary, especially with junior high, high school, and college aged kids. Even more so when you as the missionary are within that age group yourself.

One of the youth, Joel, giving me a hug after church.

Since I didn't have a lot of time to form strong relationships with people during the short time I was here in January, this time, I really want to spend time with my peers to better understand who they are, and where they're at in their faith walk. Combining that with my experience as a camp counselor, I'm hoping that it will lay a good foundation in preparing me for my future as a missionary, since I want the majority of my focus to be on youth ministry. I love the excitement and energy that goes a long with working with youth, especially junior high aged kids.

God has given me another fantastic opportunity for tomorrow night. I get to lead the youth service. I did this in January, so it will be my second time writing and leading the service, and I'm crazy excited to do it again. As of right now, I'm leaning towards basing it off of John 15:18 "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated Me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." This is a verse that helped me get through my last year of high school, and that I've found is great to use during devotions at IDW Junior High Week with my campers. It reminds us that Christ has called us and chosen us. He loves us, and while we were still sinners, He loved us so much that He died for us, and just like the world hated Jesus, we experience hate and persecution, too because of our faith. It's not because we're not good enough for this world, and it's not because something's wrong with us, in fact, it's quite the opposite. Because we have been made pure and holy, and because we have been chosen, we are hated. Satan will do whatever he can to isolate us, to make us feel unloved, to tempt people to persecute us, hate us, and turn against us. It's so important to remember that we are chosen and loved children of God. We should cling to Him and to His truth, not the lies and hatred that infect the world we live in. Please pray that the words I speak to the youth tomorrow night will be of God, not of me, and that they strike a chord within the hearts of these amazing kids. The topic will be so easy for them to relate to, as they are at an age where pressure to stray from the path of righteousness is stronger than ever. An age where the popular thing and the right thing are so often polar opposites. I pray that God will work in me and through me to make an impact on them tomorrow night.

All in all, my time here so far has just been wonderful. Coming back to a place where I wasn't even sure if the people I'd formed relationships with would even remember me, and then just getting showered by their excitement at my return, their love, and their joy has been amazing. Christ is doing some amazing things here, and I'm so grateful to be a part of so much of it. Every minute is an incredible experience. From visiting houses, to praying with the locals, and even to just teaching kids the Hustle when they've never even heard "Stayin' Alive" before, I haven't stopped smiling for more than ten seconds at a time.

Teaching the Hustle (I'm in the yellow) to the kids (and some of the Americans!).

Today has been relatively slow. The water has been out since yesterday morning and just came back on this afternoon (it happens often, but usually not for more than a few hours or so), so I finally got to take a shower. It was a good thing, too. I hadn't showered since Monday morning, and Ariel was giving me a bad time about smelling gross (and honestly, I probably did)...especially my hair. Maybe it's time to take those corn rows out? Nope. Too much work to keep my bangs out of my face. :) After lunch, Lisa and I went to the grocery store to buy a few things, and we're going to make chocolate cake tonight (!).

In the midst of this more relaxing day, I've also had some time to read the amazing devotional books from my sponsor, as well as spend a lot of time in prayer, talking with God about His plans for my future. So far, I've found that Uganda will always be in my future in one way or another, but how long I spend there, and the journey along the way is completely undecided right now (I never thought Peru or Nicaragua would be part of that journey, so who knows what else God has in store for me!).

I've been talking a lot with Lisa about her ministry experience. She is an alumni of The World Race, a mission organization that sends teams of young adults between the ages of 21-35 on an 11-month mission trip to 11 (or more) different countries around the world (if you want to know more about it, you can go to http://www.theworldrace.org/). Lisa came to Candelaria while on The World Race, and said that the experience helped her decide where she wanted to be and what she wanted to do. Even though I know I want to spend at least 2 years in Uganda, I want the chance to see the rest of the world in a mission setting, and find out where, what kind, and how much help is needed elsewhere, as well as in Eastern Africa, and I think that The World Race would be a great way to do that. I can feel God working in me and changing my heart and I feel that He has even more plans for me than I originally thought. You think God is going to do something big with your life...He laughs and shows you something epically massive. For example, in the 7th grade, when I first felt the call to be a church worker, I thought I was going to go to Concordia University Saint Paul (which I did), complete the Director of Christian Education program, and end up working with an Iowa District West youth group in a Lutheran Church Missouri Synod congregation. Little did I know that a string of life-changing events beginning with participation in a 30-Hour Famine, would lead me to realize that God has called me to be a missionary in a third-world country. So, I'm going to be prayerfully considering participating in The World Race after I graduate from Concordia. If God is telling me this is a path that He wants me to take, I'd want to do The World Race before I start my 2-year overseas internship to complete my certification as a Director of Christian Outreach in the LCMS, or see if there is any possible way to incoorporate The World Race into my internship (the latter is the more favorable option of the two).

Looks like I've got a lot of thinking, planning, and most importantly, praying to do, for both tomorrow, and a few years down the road, so I'm going to go get on that!

Also, be sure to check out the slideshow at the very, very bottom of the page. Sorry for the lack of pictures so far. My camera was stolen in Leon about a week ago, so all of my pictures are on my cell phone, and it would cost me money to send them from there to a computer since I'm not in the U.S. I'm pretty much stealing other people's pictures off of Facebook. :/

Thanks for reading! God bless your day, and please keep the ministry in your prayers.

Love Always,
-ellie*

Salsa, Swing, and Salt Shakers.

2010-08-01T01:36:00.011-05:00

Wow.

That's all I can say about this week. It's been nothing short of amazing, and praise Jesus for that!

It started in the early evening when I returned from Playa Roca (Rock Beach) and Leon on Tuesday night. After dinner, I went outside where the kids were practicing for their upcoming dance competition with several other area churches on the 20th of August in Chinandega. I ended up getting dragged into the group by a couple of girls about my age, Paula and Rosalinda, who I'd never met before, who are now becoming good friends of mine. It was insanely hot, and I was getting insanely sweaty after two hours of dancing salsa, hip-hop, and (randomly enough) lyrical. Rosalinda told me I should dance in the competition with them. I'm not so sure about that. They practice so much, and it would definately take up a large chunk of time. I want to spend as much time with as many different groups of people in Candelaria as possible, so I'm going to have to think about that for awhile.

On Wednesday, Adam and Carissa (the two missionaries who go to Concordia with me who were here for the month of July), Diego, Jarrett, Lisa, and I met for debriefing and preparing for the week. There's a team staying out at the Bloquera (where I stayed when I came here in January) of 17, but another team of about 10 people was arriving at 11:00 that morning, and they were going to be staying at the property. Honestly, these people are awesome. Some of the greatest people I've met on the mission field. I'm definitely going to miss them when they leave. It's great to have a group of people where almost all of them are my age, especially since they're staying right here on the property with me and the other long-term missionaries. The day went by pretty routinely (or as routine as it can get around here), and that night was the youth service. The new short term team led the service, and concluded it with feet washing. It was amazing. Some pretty intense arguing between some of the youth had just recently been resolved, and the feet washing activity was a great reminder of how we can serve each other and show love and humillity to one another.

I was sitting near the back of the church, observing the activity. At first, none of the Nicaraguans wanted to do it, but as the night went on, they eventually were washing other's feet along with the team, as well as having their own feet washed. It was so cool. About twenty or so minutes in, Yasmin, the little boy that I talk about all the time in the states (he's the little dude sitting in front of me in my profile picture), ran up to me, grabbed my hand, and started dragging me to the bucket. I told him he didn't have to, but he insisted. When I asked him why, he just smiled at me and said "Because I love you!" I suppose it goes without saying that I teared up. Having a seven-year-old, slightly mouthy little guy say that to me, especially my favorite mouthy little guy, made my day.

After the youth service was finished, there was, of course, dancing. Much to my liking, swing music came on, so I taught one of the guys from the new team, Josh, a little. Of course, it wasn't nearly as epic as PR and I at the IDW Junior High Week dance a couple weeks ago. :p

Thursday was yet another great day. I got my hair corn rowed by a lady in Chichigalpa (I look pretty ghetto-licious, just to let you know), and had some pretty epic ice cream. There was church that night, too, and I got to sing in the praise band. It was nice to be in a setting similar to the contemporary Wednesday night praise service, FISH, at Concordia again. The coolest thing, though, was that we sang every song in both English and Spanish. Singing How Great is Our God, and getting to worship through music with all of the American missionaries and the Nicaraguans was such an incredible experience.

After church, Lisa, Carissa, and I joined the team staying on the property in a time of prayer. Everyone was annointed with oil, had hands laid on them, and prayed for out loud. It was such a powerful thing to experience, and I'm so glad that I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to try a style of prayer that I had never done before.

When prayer time was over, I hung out in the kitchen with a few of the guys from the team, Daniel, the other Daniel, and Josh, for awhile, talking about Larry the Kitchen Frog, and Shermanito the Girls' Bedroom Frog, the two little nuggets that have made a home in the youth house. When the Daniels left, I got to talk with Josh for a bit, and learn a little about him. It was a really good conversation. I didnt expect to really connect with any Americans while I was down here, but God had other plans. It was great to be able to listen to someone who happens to be in a very similar spot in their faith walk as I am.

On Friday, we celebrated the birthdays of Meg and Britty (two of the girls from the team staying at the Bloquera) Nicaraguan style. Complete with pinatas and an epic frosting fight. I had pink and yellow frosting everywhere. In my hair, all over my arms on my face, in my eyelashes...it was intense! There was also, of course, dancing! Including Thriller (!), and Stayin' Alive. I have officially brought the Hustle to Nicaragua. It was so fun to get to teach everyone that dance! Unfortunately, I had an allergic reaction to the frosting (probably one of the dyes), so my face is kind of red, and I've got a little bit of a rash going on on my arms, but it's all good. I'm not dead. :)

After the insane fiesta de cumpleanos activites came to end, I made bracelets with the short term team, and had an epic time exchanging lame jokes with Kristina. Yes, my pathetic self invented salad joke was included (What did the salad say before dinner? Lettuce pray!). Then I had a guitar jam session with Josh in the kitchen while getting eaten alive by mosquitos. 'Twas fun.

Today I wasn't feeling the greatest, so I didn't do much outside of walking around the mission property with Yasmin hanging on me like a barnacle. I love that little nugget. :) Later on, I spent some time with a few of my Nicaraguan guy friends and some of the girls from the team staying at the Bloquera. It was a good time. I have some pretty amazing friends here.

Me, Kaitlyn, and Abel hanging out in the iglesia. :)

I also went to dinner in Leon with the short term team tonight...that was an adventure...

We left Candelaria in the back of Rafael's cattle truck thingy along with the team staying at the Bloquera, and were dropped off a block or so from the bus stop. Rafael continued on to the Bloquera with the other team, and me, Diego, Jarrett, and the team staying on the property made our way to the bus stop. Tommy, Linda, and four of the people from the short term team headed to Leon in a pick-up, so we were already behind them. The bus finally came (we showed up after 6:30 p.m., which is when the last bus comes, so we were afraid we'd missed it), but it could only take us as far as Telica (some of you may recall my super happy story of almost dying on the Telica volcano...just my luck, huh?). Just as the bus dumped us on the side of the road, it started to rain. Hard. So here's a bunch of Americans on the side of the road, in the dark, in the middle of nowhere, in the pouring, cold rain, and nearly everyone is wearing flip flops, shorts, and a t-shirt or tank top. Wonderful. Diego got a taxi to pull over, but only half of us could go. I stayed behind with all the guys. So Diego, Jarrett, Josh, Jacob, and I spent quite some time trying to get a taxi. We ended up walking a little ways towards Leon before we finally found a taxi. We were all soaking wet when we finally found one. Josh, the smallest of us all, took the front, so me, Diego, Jarrett, and Jacob all climbed in the back. Not one of us is under 5'10, and I'm pretty sure I'm the shortest (that should tell you something). Poor Jacob was halfway sitting on my lap, and I wouldn't be suprised if my pelvic bone drilled a permanent hole into his side. It didn't help that the driver was terrible...even for a Latin American driver.

We finally safely arrived at the restaurant in Leon. My biggest accomplishment of the night? Being just like my dad and balancing a salt shaker with salt crystals on the table. I'm super cool. A couple of the guys ordered these massive hamburgers that were barely cooked. In fact, they were so under cooked that they kept falling apart. It was disgusting. I was happy I'd ordered pasta, even though it was a cheese overload.

On the way back, once we got into Candelaria, the roads were so bad that the taxi drivers had to let us off a few blocks away from the church. They dropped us off in front of Kenia's house, so we got to talk to her, her cousin Christian, and their friend Ariel for a bit. There was some "light gazing", too...which includes staring at the street lights that block out the view of the stars. Yes, I realize that this is ridiculous. :) Just know that there was a record breaking (for me in this country, at least...it's way more in the states) 13 snorts in a row with no laughter in between. :)

Well, I'm off to have another late night jam session in the kitchen with Josh, and hopefully a little later on tonight I'm going to go outside and star gaze for a while. If the sky is clear (it's the rainy season) for once.

Lots of love and hugs from Nicaragua, and feel free to comment/discuss on my entries by clicking "(insert whatever number there happens to be here) Sparks" at the bottom of each entry if you're looking at the entire blog, or by writing in the white box (which you'll get taken to if you click the "Sparks" button while looking at the entire blog) and clicking "Post Comment" if you're just looking at a single entry.

Love Always,
-ellie*

iEstoy En Nicaragua!

2010-07-26T15:39:00.002-05:00

Greetings from Nicaragua! I landed at the airport in Managua at 8:00 p.m. on Saturday and arrived in Candelaria at about 11:00 p.m. the same night. I saw a few of the kids then. One of them stuck his head in the car window and made snorting sounds. Of course the first thing they would remember about me is my laugh. :)

Sunday was interesting. The power in Candelaria is out, so since the church service is at night, we couldn't have church. Thankfully, Sunday school is in the morning, so that still happened. It was so great so see all the kids again.

Unfortunately, I was diagnosed with malaria on Thursday, and my medication is really powerful, so sometimes I feel worse when I take the meds. I spent a lot of yesterday sleeping off a really bad headache, but was awoken mid-afternoon by an AMAZING storm. It's the rainy season in Nicaragua right now, and the thunder storms are incredibly powerful. It down poured for quite awhile, and I'd never heard thunder that loud in my life. It was epic.

Yahaira, one of the interpreters that I got really close to on my last trip here, pushed me, a lot of the other missionaries, and a ton of kids out from under the roof of the church and into the rain. We attempted to play some form of volleyball, but I gave up. My coordination is bad enough without crazy wind and rain. Instead, I joined some of the kids in a sort of natural Slip N' Slide. There's a long line of land with no grass that's sunk into the ground a bit. When it rains, it gets super muddy and fills up with water, so we'd run down it, throw ourselves on the ground, and then go sliding down this...whatever you want to call it. That was even more epic.

Monday and Tuesday are the days off for the missionaries. We're at the beach right now. Its the same beach I went to the first time I was here and when I first swam in the ocean. I'm here with three of the long term missionaries and one of the short term teams. The short term team is spending the night here. I haven't yet decided if I'm staying or not. I guess it depends on what my mode of transportation is for each option (we rode here in a cattle truck with an completely open back and tied hammocks to the frame work...'twas interesting).

I'm missing Camp Okoboji a bit, although I'm definitely NOT missing some of the things that happened last week, but that's a whole different story.

I'm hoping that I'll be able to use a computer soon so I can upload some pictures and incorporate them into these entries. Until then, I hope I'm keeping you all updated enough!

Blessings to you all this week, please keep New Song Mission Nicaragua in your prayers.

Love Always,
-ellie*

Super Counselor!

2010-07-20T10:05:00.002-05:00

Hi everyone! I hope the month of July is treating you well.

I've been keeping busy up at Camp Okoboji. Last week I served as a counselor for IDW Junior High Week. The week went well. I had an absolutely wonderful group of girls in my cabin, one of the best I've eve counseled. It was also great to catch up with campers from last year, old friends serving as counselors, and of course, the epictastic staff. Matt Eiden did an awesome job as the dean, Pastor Dahlke's topic kept the kids engaged, Pastor Ratcliffe's music owned, and Pastor Jensen had some pretty amazing devotions.

Along with counseling, I also helped lead music with Pastor Ratcliffe. It was another opportunity for me to play my new guitar that I love so much. Needless to say, my guitar playing once again improved with the help of P.R.'s teaching skills.

My cabin did a skit for the talent show that went along with the theme, so I will be posting the video recording of it as soon as I get a chance. There were also about five million counselor skits, and I sang and played guitar in two duets, one with my friend and other counselor, A.J., and one with P.R. There's video of those, too.

All in all, it was a great week of teaching kids about Jesus (and throwing them off the raft into the lake...don't worry, P.R. made sure I got thrown in, too). Hopefully I'll be able to share more when I have a little free time.

This week is Concordia Cub Weeks, so I am counseling kids between the ages of 9 and 13. I've been a counselor for both IDW Junior High Week and Concordia Cub Weeks for several years now, but going from the relaxed atmosphere of the junior high camp to the strict Cub Weeks schedule is a little difficult. I'm having a good time, though. The theme is Cubs in Mission, and there are new missionaries here each day to talk with the kids about their work, so I'm really enjoying the topic.

I would share more, but I am being summoned to clean up spilled paint in the craft building. Thanks for reading, and God bless!

Love Always,
-ellie*

Aluminum, Aluminum, Malaria...:D.

2010-07-08T02:25:00.001-05:00

If you understand that title, you're a choir nerd to the core. :)

Yesterday consisted of my absolute most favorite thing in the world (can you sense the sarcasm?)...shopping. It was off to Wal*Mart for showering essentials, a couple pairs of mesh shorts, a water bottle, and of course: a life time supply of bug spray and sunscreen.

I can't believe how close it's getting. It's kind of unreal. For the millionth time, I'm insanely excited, but I'm honestly a little scared, too. I've never gone on a mission trip, much less left the country, on my own before. I've always been with a team, and I've never been gone for more than two weeks. Sometimes I worry that my whole world might get turned upside down this summer...what if I discover that being a long term missionary really isn't my calling? I mean, it'd be great to know sooner rather than later since I've only finished one year of college so far, but I've never really thought about doing (or wanted to do) anything else. I have no idea what I would change my major to. So, I'm just taking deep breaths and praying that the call I received as a seventh grader to be some sort of church worker, and the call I received in early high school to be a missionary were interpreted correctly. I'm trusting in God that everything happens for a reason, and He has a plan for me, whether it's being on the mission field long term, or doing regular short term mission work while serving as a DCO full time with a church or organization here in the United States.

Two verses that have really helped me while finding myself in this bit of a valley are Jeremiah 29:11 ("For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.") and Matthew 6:25-34. I encourage you to look up and read the Matthew passage on your own. Even if you've looked at it previously, it always serves as an excellent reminder that God is bigger than any problem we may have had, do have, or will have. It's difficult, but we should always trust that we are in the Lord's hands, and He will provide us with all that we need.

On a lighter note, tomorrow marks the beginning of the epic packing journey. I leave for counselor orientation at Camp Okoboji on Saturday, I'm there for two weeks, and as soon as Camp is over, I head to the airport and get on the plane for Nicaragua. I come back from Nicaragua on the 23rd, and go right to Concordia to move in, so I won't be coming home for the rest of the summer. This Saturday morning will be the last of LeMars I see until Thanksgiving. While it's cool that I'm getting to go to all these great places, it means that not only do I have to have everything packed for two weeks of Camp by Saturday, I also have to have everything ready for Nicaragua, AND all of my college stuff boxed up and ready to go. I probably should've started this a week or two ago...

Also, a trek to the pharmacy is on tomorrow's schedule. Time to pick up those malaria pills! I start them next Saturday...fun stuff. My doctor gave me a different kind than I had the last time. Those pills gave me some pretty strange dreams, so at least that won't be a problem. :) I'm glad that with a combination of bug spray and malaria pills, I'll be well protected. However, I hope I don't come back from this trip looking like I did when I returned from Peru...

Me at breakfast the last day in Peru.

I hope this entry finds you all well, and I'll try to keep posting as much as possible over the next few weeks to keep you updated on what's happening during my counseling experience at Camp before I head to Central America.

Love Always,

-ellie*

Spirit of the Living God, Fall Fresh Again.

2010-07-05T13:55:00.007-05:00

Okay, so all the rain over the 4th of July weekend probably wasn't everyone's first choice out of all the possible weather options, but looking at the rain from a different angle can give us a pretty cool perspective. Just like the rain refreshes the Earth we live on, God refreshes us and gives us a clean slate each day through our baptism and by what Jesus did for us on the cross. We don't have to be weighed down by our sins, and, as gross of a way to explain it as this may be, we don't have to live in our own filth. God cleanses us and purifies us with His forgiveness and unconditional love each day, so that we can continue to live as His beloved children. How epic is that?

I encourage you to listen to the song, Reign in Us (haha, a little word play), by Starfield. The lyrics are incredibly powerful. They remind us of how desperately we need that forgiveness and unconditional love from our Savior. He is our light in this sinful world we live in, and it's only in Him that we find salvation.

Praise God for His amazing and unending love! <3

And in current events...

Last Wednesday was the benefit concert. It was a success, and a ton of fun. It was set up similarly to the FISH contemporary worship services on Wednesday nights at Concordia, so it was really awesome to get to share the amazingness of FISH with my hometown. And, after a month of not spending much time on music, I'd forgotten the amazing feeling of praising God through song. Ironically enough, during rehearsal before the concert, it was when we ran through "Reign In Us" that I realized this.

The day actually started the night before, with epic cookie baking.

M&M cookies!

I got hungry...:).

The next day I met up with the band at 2 p.m. at my church, Grace Lutheran. Katie and Christian Hayden, two of my amazing friends from Camp Okoboji drove up here with their dad, Pastor Hayden. Katie sang harmonies with me (and rocked!), and Christian was our epically amazing drummer. Nate Hettinger played piano for us, and learned all of the music in less than two weeks. I'm still in shock at that guy's talent. We performed around 20 songs!

We practiced until 5:30, had some pizza, and then got ready for the concert to begin.

About 40 or so people attended, and with donations still coming in, almost $300 was raised! All glory to God!!! There were also several donations of clothing and school supplies. That combined with all of the clothing and school supplies that were raised for my birthday fundraiser, there are three massive boxes of stuff. I have no idea how I'm going to get it all to Central America, but still...EPICNESS!!!

So to everyone who helped out through publicity, playing in the band, donating, or prayers, thank you, thank you, thank you. This means so much.

Me singing and playing during the concert.

The band: (from left to right): Katie Hayden, Nate Hettinger, Christian Hayden, and me.

It was an amazing experience, and I'm so glad that it went well. I definately hope to do another one in the near future to raise funds for my next trip overseas.

That's about all I've got for this entry. I'll be heading over to Camp Okoboji on Saturday for counselor orientation, and then I'll begin my 4th year as a camp counselor there (wow, that makes me feel old). This will be my first year counseling two camps in a row, IDW Junior High Week, and Concordia Cub Week (which is for the elementary schoolers), so prayers for strength, energy, and patience would be much appreciated.

After camp is over, I head up to the cities, spend the night in a hotel, and then get on the plane to Nicaragua. It's coming up fast, but not fast enough! I'm so incredibly excited to get back.

My next few weeks will be packed, but I'll try my best to keep you all updated. Thanks for reading!

Love Always,

-ellie*

My God Is the God Who Provides.

2010-06-24T16:35:00.007-05:00

Well this week has certainly been filled with it's ups and downs.

Kicking off with Sunday, I unfortunately missed church due to some not so epic stomach issues, and spent most of Father's Day in bed.

On Monday, I had a voice lesson with former LCHS choir director, Tim Watson. It was great to find that many of the bad habits Dr. Murray, my voice teacher at Concordia, had pointed out at the beginning of last year had been corrected. After my voice lesson, however, my day took a turn in the wrong direction.

When I got back home, I finally got a call back from my sponsor church. I'd been really concerned, since it had been over a month since they had told me they would get back to me within a week with the official green light. Turns out, my concern was justified. I am a confirmed member of Grace Lutheran Church, a church that belongs to the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod (LCMS). My sponsor church, which is located in Minnesota, also belongs to the LCMS. Unfortunately, the congregation dropped the sponsorship because New Song is not LCMS, and had "conflicting beliefs in the areas of baptism and Holy communion."

Here begins a slightly lengthy, in-depth explanation of my response toward losing my sponsor. It gets a bit long, so if you'd prefer to stay in a direction more in line with the precise topic of this blog (my mission trip), skip over all the blue text. Otherwise, read on!

Ever been hit in the face with a softball? Hearing those words kinda felt like that. While I understand where the church is coming from, I couldn't help but be frustrated. I share the same beliefs as the LCMS, but I feel my former sponsor church is missing the point. There is so much bickering between denominations (Not just Lutherans, everyone): who's right, who's wrong, and on, and on, and on. I'm not saying that there is or isn't a denomination out there that is "more correct" than any other, I just feel that we are getting so lost in proving each other wrong and being so legalistic with every tiny thing we come across in God's Word, that we are forgetting the most important thing: Christ died for our sins. If we believe that Christ died for our sins, and has delivered us from eternal damnation, then we are saved. So, if this denomination thinks that contemporary music is wrong, and that denomination thinks you can't use grape juice during communion, and some other denomination strongly believes that homosexuality damns you (which I disagree with, but that's a different story), it really doesn't matter. We all make mistakes, we all sin, we all do stupid things. We're not perfect, and the cold hard truth is, nobody is ever going to be able to perfectly interpret the Bible. Whether we're talking about Biblical interpretation, doctrinal differences, or the result of our sinful nature, all sins are equal in the eyes of God, and we are all redeemed children of God.

Does this mean we should ignore what the rest of the Bible says? No. Does this mean we shouldn't have questions about the meaning of certain verses and passages? No. It simply means that we need to shift our priorities, our focus, our purpose, and our lives on Jesus. Even the Old Testament (which many argue is irrelevant) points to Christ. We can learn so much about who our God is by diving into His Word, but to put all of our time and energy into dissecting something(s) that we are clearly told "surpasses all human understanding", can be such a waste. We need to have faith, and trust in God that He has the Holy Spirit working in and through us to carry out what is best for His kingdom.

Take Matthew 28:19-20, for example (yes, I'm aware that those of you who know me well have heard this before...as a missionary, I use this verse a lot): "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." We are called to go and share the Good News of Christ with the entire world! What an amazing calling we have to go and tell everyone about what Jesus did for us on the cross!!! And that's what I intend to do: tell everyone about what Jesus did for us on the cross. I strongly believe that someone must know about salvation before they can be taught doctrine, anyway (not to mention the fact that I intend to not teach doctrine, and if for some reason, in any mission field I'm working in, it gets that far, I'll be getting a pastor involved). We are Christians before we are Lutheran, or Baptist, or Methodist, or any other denomination, and that's something that so many of us have lost sight of.

This marks the end of the in-depth response. I again apologize for the lengthiness.

When I lost my sponsorship, I was devastated. After a few hours of crying, my mom and I got out of the house to post some fliers advertising the benefit concert at various businesses around the community. It seemed like a good idea to put up extra posters considering I had just gone from $1,000 (having nearly all of the trip paid for), to nothing but a few Nicaraguan Cordobas left in my wallet from the last time I was in Candelaria.

As we entered the last building at which I wanted a flyer to be posted, my mother introduced me to a family friend. We had a great conversation about mission work, faith, and just the pure epicness of God in general. I felt a lot better when I left. It was good to talk to someone who shared my views, and to know that word about my concert was getting out to more people around LeMars.

My day on Tuesday was filled with dental appointments, eye doctor visits, and other such pleasantries (blah). Later that night, however, I was brought to tears when I opened an email from the friend I had talked to the previous day. My entire trip was being supported.

I literally went from having an almost completely funded trip, to nothing, to a new sponsor that God has so graciously blessed me with. I'm still in a little bit of shock.

The benefit concert, of course, will still be occurring. All funds raised at the concert will go towards extra expenses (malaria medication, sunscreen, and any other extra items that I'll need while in Nicaragua), ground transportation, medical emergencies while out of the country, etc. Any extra funds raised will either go directly to New Song Mission, or be saved toward my next mission trip, so I still hope to see all of you there. It's going to be a great night of praise, worship, music, and fun! :)

Yesterday we bought plane tickets (woo!). I leave from the airport in Minneapolis at 10:15 a.m. (the same day my second week of counseling at Camp Okoboji ends...can you guess what I'll be doing the entire flight? It starts with a "sl" and ends with an "eep"!) on a Delta flight. I've got two stops (made the airfare cheaper), the first at Chicago Midway, and the second at Atlanta. I arrive at the Managua airport around 7:35 p.m.

I can't wait until I arrive back in Nicaragua and get to see all the wonderful people at New Song again. I'm counting down the days. Praise God for providing for me, even when it seemed like I wasn't going to get to return to a place I love so much. I pray that the Holy Spirit will be working in and through me the whole time to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

I'd like everyone to listen to this song, Desert Song, (I'll be playing it at the benefit concert) by Hillsong. I first heard it at Concordia earlier in the year, when one of the music teams played it at FISH (our Wednesday night contemporary worship service). The message in the song is amazing, and has been especially meaningful to me this week. It reminds us that God will provide for us all the we need, according to His will. It tells us that no matter what, we always have a reason to praise and worship our Savior.

Love Always,
-ellie*

Sing Until the Whole World Hears!

2010-06-19T21:52:00.007-05:00

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth, burst into jubilant song with music. -Psalm 98:4

Although I'm still waiting for the official monetary approval from my sponsor church, I'm starting to get pretty excited for the end of July when I'll finally set foot on Nicaraguan soil again. :) Thankfully, I have lots of things to keep my mind occupied before I leave, including filling out counselor applications for my church camp (gotta love Camp Okoboji, can't get enough of that place), doctor's appointments for shots, malaria medication, and all of that fun stuff, and planning for a pretty epic benefit concert that's coming up on June 30th!

I will be holding a benefit concert at my home church in LeMars, Grace Lutheran, at 7:00 p.m. It will be run similarly to a contemporary praise service, and will focus mainly on music. There will also be a slide show, refreshments, and a clothing, school supply, and toy drive (so feel free to bring any old clothes or other items you'd like to donate to the people of Candelaria).

This is going to be an evening filled with praise and worship, music, fun, fellowship, and of course food. :) The night will feature a praise band including myself (lead vocals and rhythm guitar), local musicians Paige Otterson (backup vocals and lead guitar) and Nate Hettinger (backup vocals and a little bit of piano), and Christian Hayden on drums. Members of the praise band will also be performing solos and/or duets.

There is no cost, just a freewill donation for the concert, and a freewill donation for refreshments. Even if you can't donate (or can only donate a small amount), your attendance, support, and prayers can make a HUGE difference! Any amount of support and/or money helps. :)

If you are coming from a long distance, and need a place to stay for the night, I can have a few people stay with me.

If you'd like to help out in any way, don't hesitate to contact me. I am currently in need of the following:

*Bakers to help make refreshments the night before the concert (as many that want to help and/or donate ingredients).
*Set-up and sound check crew (2-4).
*Greeters (2-4).
*Piano player (1). Must be able to play from sheets of just chord names and/or improvise from that. It's not hard, I've even done it. :)
*Bass player (1).
*Refreshment servers at the concert (3 to 6).
*Tear-down crew (2-4).
*Alternate backup singer, guitarist, and drummer in case one of the band members can't make it (1-4). Contact me if you'd like to be on call for a musician's position.

If you could help out in any of the following ways, or if you know of someone you think would be good for any of these jobs, please, please, please let me know!

Otherwise, everyone can help out by spreading the word. Invite your friends, tell your youth group, etc. If you'd like some fliers to post at your church or anywhere else, please contact me!

If you have any questions, would like to help out, or if you want to donate, but can't make it to the concert, you can reach me by phone or email.

Phone: 515-835-2958 (calls preferred)
E-Mail: hemminge@csp.edu

Thank you so much, and I look forward to seeing you on the 30th!

Love Always,
-ellie*

Illuminate?

2010-06-09T04:45:00.004-05:00

Illuminate. I thought it was a pretty epic name for my blog. You may or may not be looking for an explanation for my word choice, but regardless, I'll get to that later.

This blog is here to track my work preparing for, and being a missionary with New Song, a mission organization in Candelaria, Nicaragua. I will be working with New Song this summer from the end of July until school at Concordia starts up again. In addition to that, I will also be sharing about my past ministry experiences, and hopefully continuing on with whatever happens to be in store for my future in ministry after I return home in the fall.

While it's great that I can share this incredible journey via the internet, my greatest prayer for whoever may be following this blog, is that these words are from the Holy Spirit, not myself, and that they serve as a spark of inspiration to fulfill the Great Commission. Sure, you may not be leaving the continent to live in a hut in Africa for six years anytime soon, but we are all missionaries. All the time. We all have God given abilities that we can use to glorify Him, and share the Good News of Jesus with the world, whether that be in another hemisphere, or in our own communities.

Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, even to the very end of the age. -Matthew 28:19-20.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

And for those who want the story behind the name, I present to you...*drum roll*...a super long narrative! Hooray!!!

Eleanor. Shortened to Ellie, of course, but anyone who knows me is aware of my stance on my name.

Make that my previous stance.

My first year at Concordia University Saint Paul (CSP) was a dream. Sure, my freshman year of college (just like anyone's) had it's ups and downs, but I was truly blessed with countless opportunities to grow in my faith, make new friends, and learn about myself. But the greatest (and sometimes most painful) lesson I've been learning lately, is how to love myself the way God made me.

My senior year in high school took it's toll on me. I was harassed relentlessly for the way I looked, for my morals, and most of all...for my faith. Things got so bad, that I began to see myself the way everyone labeled me: worthless. I felt completely alone. Some of my best friends had turned against me, and at that point, I was almost certain that God had as well. It didn't matter what I said or did, it seemed I was never going to be good enough. It took months for me to pull myself back together and have a little bit of faith in myself.

Without the amazing people God has put into my life, I know that I wouldn't have made it through those times. He has blessed me with listening ears, shoulders to cry on, and the greatest support system anyone could hope to have. These people helped me up off the ground, and were my shining lights in some of the darkest months of my life. I have no doubts that the Holy Spirit was working in their hearts, giving me the confidence, courage, and strength to go out and share the Good News of Jesus with the world again. They re-inspired (is that a word?) me to be that kind of light in the life of someone else.

It's pretty accurate to compare our faith to light. Hiding it doesn't do anyone any good, but very much like when we pass a flame from candle to candle, when we share our faith, it can travel unimaginable distances, spreading across the world.

My math professor and I were discussing this after class one day. Concordia's theme this year was "The Light Shines In the Darkness". With all the mission and ministry opportunities (a short term trip to Nicaragua, a traveling drama ministry team, choir tour) I'd had since coming to CSP, it definitely fit my year. Mr. Ferret and I were conversing about the possibility of me joining a group he was leading on an incredible service trip to Israel in the summer of 2011. A few days later, he emailed me with some in-depth information. At the bottom of the email, was my name translated into Hebrew: Meira. Obviously, a name like Eleanor (as well as the shortened form, Ellie) wouldn't translate well into Hebrew. He told me the next day that in order to translate it, he used the literal meaning of my name. Whatever Hebrew word matched it's meaning, would be my name in Hebrew. The common denominator of Meira, Eleanor, and Ellie? Shining light.

As much as I've detested my name in the past, it's meaning suits me as a missionary. I pray that the Holy Spirit will work in my heart so the light of Jesus can shine through me to illuminate a world in such desperate need of a Savior.

Love Always,
-ellie*